Keep calm...

While trendy internet memes are not usually my favorite thing, my personal take on the "Keep Calm and Carry On" trend has made me smile this past week. The logo above is from Catechesis of the Good Shepherd and part of what we do in our work with children is make the materials students use in the atrium (our designated classroom space). Since our parish atria needed major updating, I had ordered lots of materials this summer and purchased necessary items to make other materials.


Well, the summer got busy. Part of my personal goals have been to NOT work 50-60 hours/week as frequently as I had been. That meant some stuff got pushed to the back burner over the summer. So, now I've got nearly 300 students starting classes in 18 hours and there's still much to be done. Guess this week might be a long one, but that's ok. Loving my job gives me the energy to keep plowing ahead, even when it seems daunting.

My catechists and I have been busy sanding, painting, cutting, gluing, and more the past few days. Tomorrow, I will whip the atria (or at least 2 of them since we don't need Level III until Wednesday) into better shape. It will be a long, busy day, but definitely fruitful to watch the children at work! I cannot wait!!

So, how am I going to keep calm when I'm feeling so very behind and there's much to do? How can I prevent lots of those 12-14 hour work days? Survey says... LET IT GO! I realize it's going to take 3-5 years to build the programs at St. Francis to the level where I want them to be and I have to live with that. Projects can wait six months, or a year, or more. I can tell people, you will have to do this project if you want it to happen.

For me, the key to doing this is lessening my anxiety. I tend to get overwhelmed and anxious when I think of where the programs are and where I want them to be. Sigh. I have a personal goal of making it to daily Mass at least once/week, in addition to Sunday Mass. I've done fairly well at this, just missing this week (but it was a short week anyhow due to Labor Day). I've started seeing a spiritual director and hope to keep this up twice/month. When my prayer/spiritual life are on track, I don't have as much anxiety. It's that simple. (Note: ice cream is also good for anxiety, but doesn't have the lasting impact of prayer and the results on your waistline aren't so good.)

In discussing my prayer life with my spiritual director, she gave me a terrific tip. I usually use mantras with English words when I pray because they're familiar.  She advised me to use the mantra, "Maranatha" which is often translated, "Come, Lord Jesus". Why? She said when I'm praying and using my own language, I am more likely to start thinking of things I have to do or worrying. She suggested using this word will free me from those associations. I just learned that tip this morning and haven't attempted it yet. I am eager to try it tonight!

I look forward to a calmer, less stressful (school) than the last one or, at least, making sure I focus under less stress/pressure than I put on myself last year. 

Happy Anniversary? (Part 2)

What other fun adventures have I been on since divorcing? Probably the biggest was just getting my present job, moving, and finding my career exactly where I wanted it to be. How tremendous!

I've made trips to the Pierogi Fest in 2012 and 2013. If you're of Eastern European ancestry, like me, it's definitely a can't miss event. Plus, it takes place in my dad's hometown. Last year I joined some cousins for the parade. Since they're more distant cousins I've only met a few times, it was a lovely treat. This year, I spent most of Saturday there with my dad & sis. We ran into a number of family members as well as my friend, Rhett. I'd got him hooked on the fest a few years prior. Neither of us realized the other would be there that day! Why does this matter? I could never convince Voldemort to make the trip for the festival, even though he loved pierogi. Well, pooh on you! I'm making it an annual tradition and don't mind planning my summers around it!

In July I turned 34. My parents were in town for the day. We had a terrific time, but I needed something fun to do that evening. I hadn't really made plans since I initially didn't know when they'd be leaving so early. What to do? What to do? No time to make plans with friends, but I did happen to know my childhood crushes were playing in town. I was a HUGE New Kids on the Block fan from about the ages of 10-14. I had never seen them play and when they came to Iowa a few years back, guess who scoffed? Well, it's just me now! So, I called and found a last minute floor seat to see them play along with 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men. What a terrific time! I got to high five most of the guys that night (everyone but Joe), got a handshake and thank you at the end of the show from Jordan, got a birthday wink from Joe (yes, I totally had a sign trying to get some extra TLC), and a wave from Jon. Such a silly, fun, magical night of feeling like a 12 year-old girl... and squealing like one too.

For years I've been talking about making a silent retreat at Gethsemani, KY. While I couldn't make that happen, I was able to make a 7-day silent retreat at another retreat center in the Midwest. I had a delightful time. It was peaceful, relaxing, and quiet. Yes, I managed to not speak for an entire week... with no regrets. It was just tremendous! Someone else in my life would have never believed I could do that. I believe in myself, even/when no one else does.

Lots of other great things have happened in the past two years:

• Tons of fun adventures with my niece
• New craft projects
• Decorating an apartment my way (not that I mind compromise, but this is fun)
• Helping as a Scout leader for a short time (before I moved)
• Buying a car on my own (never done that without my dad or L.V.)
• Blaring my favorite music in the house and car
• Watching TV shows that L.V. mocked me for liking

So, September really has brought a happy anniversary. I'm happy I am free to be myself. And if there is meant to be a new Mister in my life at some point, we'll just make sure he loves me for me and doesn't squash my spirit. 

Happy Anniversary? (Part 1)

Today should have been my 7th wedding anniversary. Instead, it's the 2 year and one day anniversary of my divorce from Lord Voldemort. Without getting into all the nitty gritty, Voldemort told me he was leaving me in Feb. 2011. In April, I left where we were living and moved in with my parents. He was working on finalizing the divorce all summer. As much as I didn't want the divorce, I begged Voldemort to get everything wrapped up before our 5th anniversary. The only court date he could get was just 24 hours before our should-have-been-anniversary. But that's not what this post is about.

I've eluded to the fact that I am much happier now than I was when I was married. This post is a tribute to all the ridiculous fun I've created for myself in the past 2+ years, without Voldemort holding me back. So, the divorce finalized just before our anniversary. To say I'd been a wreck was an understatement. If I added up the hours I spent in bed from Feb. 2011-Nov. 2011, it would probably be more than the hours I've spent in bed the 30+ years prior. I would wake up around 2 in the afternoon, shower, go tutor for a few hours, come home and go to bed. I would  cry, sleep, eat junk food, and watch TV from 8 pm until the next afternoon. It wasn't pretty. A pint of  mint chocolate chip or 3 bowls of off-brand cocoa puffs constituted a meal. So, when I look at the fact that I was dealing with all that, it's pretty impressive.

In April, I picked up and moved 500 miles back to where my parents, siblings, and niece live. I needed to regroup. While I'd made the 9-10 hour drive straight through multiple times, I was too emotional to trust myself powering through. So how did I start my life as a single gal? I drove 350 miles to Dorie & Jack's house. They were beyond phenomenal. I thought I would be a crying, blubbering mess, but I wasn't. And my friends knew what I needed. It was a week before Easter so Dorie & I headed to her church for Reconciliation. It was beyond essential, given where I was emotionally and spiritually at that time. After treating me to a pedicure, she and I headed home for an evening of games, wine, laughter, and tremendous food (Jack is a stellar chef!). The next day, I was refreshed and renewed for the last few hours of my trip home. God bless them both for being with me on one of the most trying days of my life. 

In June 2011, my friends and I had our 10-year college anniversary. Despite how crappy I was feeling, I went to South Bend to spend some time with some of my closest friends. I won't deny that I was a teary mess much of our time together, but this post is about the FUN stuff. We went for dinner at this place called The Mark which is amazing. My 2 dear friends, Rhett & Jane, decided I need comfort food as well as need to complete a food dare (a harken back to dining hall days and the normal go-to dare friend was not there). The following is what I posted on FB that day:

Rhett & Jane decide I need to be the one to try the weirdest food on the menu. They also decide it must be a comfort food. This might be because I've broken down crying about 3 times in the first 20 minutes we've spent together. They are good at making me laugh. I'm glad my friends have terrific stories about running into brick walls and trees to turn my tears into hysterical giggles. They want to order me a combo of liver & onions and mac & cheese. No thanks, friends. The strangest comfort food is called The Double Dare (there was no Triple Dare or Triple Dog Dare-- whew!). This is the The Double Dare description per the menu on their website:Veal meatloaf atop a savory Belgian waffle,mashed potatoes, sweet peas, stout demi glace. I refuse because it has peas.

Brett: You're not going to order it just because it has peas?
Kathy: I HATE PEAS!
Joanne: The veal meatloaf isn't a turn off?
Kathy: I LIKE VEAL!
I opt for and order the next strangest thing I can find b/c it doesn't have peas. It's called the Turkey Tower:
Oven-roasted turkey atop a savory Belgian
waffle, mashed potatoes & fresh-herbed gravy,
with house-made cranberry sauce
I realize now how disgusting the photos make this look. It is not disgusting. It is amazingly tasty! I ordered the cranberry sauce on the side, but ended up adding it on top because it really was that darn good.

So, that was the start of me having fun and doing goofy stuff. The divorce finalized just before Labor Day weekend. I wanted to do something fun. My friend, Meg, works for the Red Cross and had told me that I could get free passes to Cedar Point by giving blood. My mom is a regular donor so she and I went out on the specified day, gave blood, and got 2 free Cedar Point tickets. Due to the holiday weekend, no one was free to join me. I went by myself. Even with my self-esteem struggling, I'm still confident enough to drive to Ohio, get a hotel room, and spend 2 days enjoying something I've loved since I was a kid: riding roller coasters! I hadn't been to Cedar Point since my college days. L.V. and I were supposed to go during a vacation, but car trouble made us change our plans.

My two days were an absolute blast! The weather was in the 70s, so I wasn't sweating in any of the lines. As a single rider, I was regularly needed to fill up a car, usually allowing me to bypass up to 5 or 6 people ahead of me insistent on riding with their friends. Roller coasters give you the chance to scream away your stress in a fun environment. I met and talked to lots of interesting people in line. The best part was riding a coaster that had gone up during the years I hadn't been to The Point: the Top-Thrill Dragster. Due to it only having a lap belt and going practically straight up then straight down, it was INSANE. By far my scariest coaster experience ever... and totally worth it! I nicknamed it the Scarier Than Divorce Coaster. If you aren't familiar, check out this: 

During the summer of 2012, I had the chance to do a number of things I wouldn't have done while married. The first was a road trip with Rhett and Jane. Our good college buddy Mary was getting married in Omaha and we, along with nearly a dozen other college pals, were making up the wedding choir. If I'd been married, it's very likely Voldemort would have either:

• found an excuse for us not to go
• done a quick day trip the day of the wedding, likely by myself

But like a Goonie, this is my time. So what happened? Jane drove from Cincy to my parents' house on a Tuesday to spend the night. We also had time to catch up with our mutual friend, Dee, and enjoyed an awesome dinner with her. On Wednesday, we spent the early part of the day hanging out with my parents and niece. After lunch, we jumped in the car and headed to our beloved South Bend. 

Once in South Bend, Jane & I did some last minute wedding shopping, got some supplies for what would be a road trip joke  on Rhett, and headed to ND. Rhett works on campus, and we waited for him to get off work and did some shopping in the bookstore. After dinner together, we headed to Rhett's house for a sleepover. 

Early Thursday, we piled into two cars and headed out. After the wedding, the 3 of us were heading to different parts of the country: Rhett to Colorado (if I recall), Jane to the Badlands, and myself to my new place of employment for orientation and apartment hunting. I would take the train and my friends would be driving, hence the need for 2 cars when were all going to the same place. From SB to Omaha, I tried to regularly switch back and forth between the two vehicles. This was also because as much as my friends love me, I have a tendency to get goofy and obnoxious. It's always a possibility that my silliness will get me left along the side of I-80 at any given moment. 

We arrived to Omaha in time for the bachlelorette  party. It was low key- just a nice dinner out followed by personal gifts for the bride, and dancing. We skipped the dancing after such a long drive and called it an early night. Jane, Rhett, and I haven't shared a hotel room in, probably 10 years or more. Just being with them 24/7 was a barrel of laughs and I seriously enjoyed every minute of it. Friday the 3 of us played tourist for the first part of the day. I had sprained my ankle the day before the road trip. I say this only because I was a little cranky at times, in pain, and not as mobile as I would have liked. Jane & Rhett were super accommodating and patient with my occasional whining and overall gimpiness. I  say this only because I know Voldemort would not have been so patient. 

Friday afternoon/evening was full of joyous surprises. Rhett, Jane, and I didn't know about all our other college friends who we would end up singing with. We had all been friends with Mary and many of us had sung with one another in a mix of about 3 or 4 different choirs while in college.That night, I reconnected with about a half dozen folks I'd sung with in college and was reintroduced to some acquaintances I hadn't really remembered. Given that I was the only Belle in a roomful of Domers, it was no surprise I didn't recall all of them. The rehearsal dinner was just so much fun, because it was like the 11 years from college hadn't happened and we were all 21/22 again. We also made some new friends along the weekend. What joy!

Saturday was busy with the wedding and reception. It was beyond fun! My train was leaving town at some ungodly hour (3 or 4 am, I believe). Rhett & Jane called it a night around midnight. Two or three different folks stayed up with me, drinking wine, and keeping me company until I had to catch a cab to the train station. Voldemort would have been such a party pooper about my odd hour travel plans. Instead, friends new & old kept me company and created a delightful memorable evening. What a blessing!!

I've had many more adventures since I divorced, but that will wait for another post. This is enough for now. Stay tuned for the sequel!