Back to School

It's that time of year, folks! The kiddies are back to school or heading back. I met with two of my catechists yesterday who gifted me with this tremendous card, shown above. Inside it says, "Wishing you a stress-free year." I LOVE IT!

My religious education students return the week of Sept. 8th, but the school kids have been back since the 20th. I am a very fortunate DRE in that I am considered faculty and get to enjoy many experiences with the school students as well as the religious education students. A mom and her three kids were in my office last week and the little boy, about 5, asked, "Do you have any kids?" I bent down, looked him in the eye and said, "I'm not a mom, but am responsible for almost 900 kids at St. Francis of Assisi  (parish name changed to protect the innocent... or guilty!) school and church: 450 in the school and 400 in religious education. Those 900 include you and your sisters." I am blessed.

On Tuesday, I spent time in first grade teaching them about the cross. We discussed what it means, where we see it, and what happened there. The discussion was nothing short of brilliant. When I asked what happened on the cross, I heard, "Jesus died." "They nailed him to a cross." "But he comes back every spring!" (I loved this theologically incorrect, but nonetheless outstanding answer!!) "They put a crown of thorns on his head."

When I asked why their answers took my breath away. "So we could have a better life." "Because he didn't answer the bad man's question." "So we could learn not to fight and be mean and stuff."

Children are full of deep, brilliant, theological insights. They are capable of more rich thinking than we ever give them credit for. What theological thoughts and insights have children in your life shared with you?

Becoming a Yoga Babe

I'm overweight. Some would call me fat, technically even obese but I don't use those words. One- they're too negative and two- they imply my self-esteem is largely tied to my weight. While it gets the better of me sometimes, I try not to let that happen. Without sounding cocky, I have a pretty face and take time with my appearance to ensure I look my best.

I made some major lifestyle changes about 6 years ago. I was unemployed and looking for work. In addition to job searching, I made taking better care of myself a priority. I used a calorie counting website, took up walking and biking with regularity, made healthy substitutions (whole wheat pasta versus white), and so on. I definitely allowed myself to splurge. I would still eat out, but have lemonade or water instead of pop, check the calories of dishes at my favorite restaurants before leaving the house so I had healthier options in mind when I arrived, and so on. I ate dessert on special occasions. I never went hungry.

Lord Voldemort (no sense naming my ex husband and he definitely tried to destroy my spirit, so it's quite fitting) complained. Constantly. Why are you making two kinds of pasta (I'd serve white to him and the step-kiddo)? Can't you just eat smaller portions of what we're eating? Why are you always logging your calories and exercise? I was doing what worked for me. Did I mention Lord Voldemort is also obese? And wasn't trying to lose weight at the time.

The griping got to me and when I returned to work it was nearly impossible to motivate myself to keep it going. I had lost 30 pounds and dropped two sizes. I looked and felt TERRIFIC. Within 3 months, I'd put  most of it back on. I was working at a desk job I hated (the only 6 months in my professional career where I wasn't at a parish or non-for-profit), was fighting with Bellatrix (Lord Voldemort's friend who he later left me for) which was tricky since we worked at the same place, and was being sexually harassed by a creepy coworker. Voldemort kept telling me to suck it up. I let his callous, non-caring attitude destroy my happiness and success. Sigh.

Never again! Especially since the divorce I have been certain to rid my life of any and all toxic relationships. Don't need 'em. Don't have time for 'em. I have blocked so many people on Facebook, stopped returning phone calls of others, and so on. Anyhow, that said... I have completed my first year of this new job and become relatively settled in my new surroundings. This is MY TIME.

A friend of mine recently started a business called YogaBabe. She needed volunteers to try her 12-day cleanse, which I eagerly agreed to do. It wasn't a crazy juice fast, but a normal, fresh diet, that helped jump start my weight loss. I had terrific success and dropped 1-2 sizes (depending on what I am wearing!) in that short time. I haven't had pop in weeks. I am eating far more fruits and veggies than ever. I am still learning to balance and incorporate all this, but it's getting there. The yoga routines are still a bit tough for me. I don't have the strength in my feet/ankles, and hands to hold the positions. I know as I continue to lose weight, this will get easier.

I am hoping to lose 10 pounds in the next month. We'll see how I do. Even if I don't meet my next mini goal, I know I am in a much better place to manage my health and not let anyone/anything sabotage me. I am feeling happier, healthier, and more complete than I have in a long time. Life is good, my friends. Life is good.

Going au natural

I had heard from friends for awhile now about the "no poo" method for taking care of your hair. I tried it for a time and really liked it, but I got lazy. Lazy meant back to shampoo, but two months ago I vowed I was getting back to the no poo method. Everyone does this differently and everyone's hair takes differently to it. My hair has never looked or felt better. Here's how I do it:

• Every three days or so I "wash" my hair. I brush all the tangles out before I get in the shower since I won't be using a traditional conditioner.
• I take a large, plastic tumbler and put in about 1 tbsp. of baking soda
• I fill the tumbler with warm water and pour it over my head (kinda swirl it around so the baking soda dissolves) 
• I thoroughly scrub my scalp and rinse
• Pour about 2-3 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar (depends on the length of my hair at the time) in tumbler, add about a cup of warm water, swirl, and pour over my head
• I work this through my hair a bit and rinse

 Some days I let my hair air dry. If that's the case, it means I am going curly and I pull some aloe straight off the plant and work it through my hair in place of gel. TERRIFIC STUFF! Other days, I use the straightening iron (yeah, I know, it isn't natural, but give me a break). If my hair is feeling dry, which is rarely is these days, I'll work a little coconut oil through the tips to help prevent damage.

And hairspray? I make that! I rarely need it anymore.  Now that I'm letting the natural oils in my hair do their work, my hair tends to hold its style better. But if I know my hair is going to get messed up or needs to stay nice longer, I can add some homemade hairspray. There are lots of great recipes online. My favorite is a simple one:

• Fill pot of water with 2 c. water
• Slice one (medium-sized) lemon and put in the pot
• Bring water to a boil and KEEP BOILING until mixture is reduced to about 1 c. liquid
• Let cool
• Strain and pour into spray bottle
• Add 1 tbsp. of rubbing alcohol

Hairspray will keep for about 2 weeks at room temp. Make in smaller batches if you only use periodically as I do. I've read the lemon juice can have a lightening effect on your hair if used daily. I don't use it often enough to have that problem. Do you homework and find a recipe that works well for you!

The other thing I do is brush my hair once or twice/day with a good, boar bristle brush. This helps distribute the natural oils and keeps my hair healthy. I hope you have fun trying the no poo method at some point in the near future!

Getting to know ED

Hi! Howdy! Yo! Welcome! Hey! My name is the Epistemological Doorknob, but you can call me ED. Why the Epistemological Doorknob? I assure you, it has nothing to do with my having a deep, philosophical understanding of the inner workings of the fixtures in my apartment so much as it has to do with a late night, (probably drunken) game of euchre in college where little poetry word magnets were used to keep score and per my college best friend, Dorrie, I became the Epistemological Doorknob and have been ever since. You could argue that ED is also a suitable name  since I do suffer from erectile dysfunction. As a 34 year-old woman, I have yet to have an erection. Ever.

Let's make a long story short. I graduated in 2001 from Saint Mary's College in South Bend with the above-mentioned Dorrie as well as dozens of other phenomenal ladies. I obtained a B.A. in both Philosophy and Religious Studies. My career took some amazing twists and turns, but always in ministry of some sort. Fast forward to 2013. I am divorced and working in parish ministry at a tremendous Catholic parish where I work with terrific people. I have a cute little apartment in the suburb where I work and life is grand.

I recently realized how much of myself I had lost during my marriage. I became a shadow of the goofy, fun, happy, outgoing ED my friends & family know and love. Now that I have been Lord Voldemort-free for nearly two years, I am in an EXCELLENT place. My career is going well. I do things that I want without worrying what anyone but myself thinks. That's not to say I'm immoral or reckless. Nope. Just enjoying life and all the terrific things it has to offer.

So, this is a place for me to share about ED being ED. Whether it's career struggles, a homemade soap recipe turning my skin black (this hasn't happened yet, but stay tuned), a favorite recipe, or whatever latest adventure I created for myself, you never know what you'll find here. I hope you'll join me on this journey... wherever it takes us!