Veni Sancte Spiritus

This weekend was an incredible one at St. Francis of Assisi (you'll recall, not my actual parish). Eighty-five of my smart, talented, obnoxious, clever, annoying, fun students received Confirmation. I adore each and every one of them... even those who are obnoxious or annoying at times. The ways the Holy Spirit spoke to me this weekend were numerous. I am moved to tears just thinking about it.

Friday evening we have a prayer vigil. The music director chants a litany, invoking the saints whose names the students have selected. As I was arriving at the church to set up, I thought about my own Confirmation. My godmother, who was also my sponsor, drove 3+ hours on a Wednesday night to be present for my Confirmation and brought with her my aunt. My aunt and uncle both passed away this past year. As we approach the Feast of All Souls, I couldn't help but be reminded of both of them- the countless cards and notes for special occasions, such as my own Confirmation as well as the many special events in my life that my aunt attended. I pray Aunt E and Uncle M are watching over me.

The prayer vigil was a beautiful service. Having some semblance of what to expect this year, unlike last year as a newbie, it was great. Additionally, I'd had the time to make some changes to make the service more my own. It felt natural, calm, and peaceful.

Saturday was hectic, but in a good way. My assistant and I spent much of the day ensuring last minute details were handled, pews reserved, reception set up for and such. It's a holy chaos, for sure!

Mass was long... 2 1/2 hours. The bishop  promptly apologized after Mass: "I'm out of practice from the spring Confirmations. I rarely go over 2 hours." It didn't matter to me. Every moment was worth it. The choir sang beautifully. The homily was relative and touching (though a tad long). The bishop personalized the Confirmation experience in a way that made every long moment worth it!

Each Confirmand stepped up and I was there to escort/cattle herd the line forward. This gave me a front row seat to the bishop's interactions. Here's what I prepped the kids for:

          Step forward. You sponsor will say, "Bishop this is (insert Confirmation name here)."

The bishop will trace the cross on your forehead with holy chrism and say, 

"Be sealed with the Holy Spirit". You say, "Amen."

He will shake your hand and say, "Peace be with you."

Respond, "And with your Spirit."

Return to your pew.

Here's what really happened (with slight variations for each Confirmand):

"Hi! Who have you brought with you this evening?," Bishop referring to sponsor.

"And why did you pick him/her?"

"Those sound like great qualities. You should learn from him/her."

"I see you chose saint X. Why is that?" or "What is it you liked about that saint?"

"He/she exhibits these qualities which you and I need to have in our lives.                                          Learn from the life of him/her." 

PROCEEDS WITH ABOVE RITUAL. 

Shakes sponsor's hand as well. Maybe another quip or comment before next person.

It took forever. The choir director kept running out of music to play. I stood to the side and dabbed my eyes. It was breathtaking. I loved every minute of it. I was so happy for and proud of my students. 

The bishop who confirmed me passed away earlier this year after a brief, painful battle with cancer. So, back to All Souls' Day, I thought of him as well. I remember nothing from my Confirmation because our interactions with the bishop were so brief and uniform. Rest in peace, Bishop D. You were a good person, but Bishop M was amazing. His Confirmation skills were top notch, no disrespect meant. 

After Mass we had a reception. Two students had gifts for me. Normally, I wouldn't mention this except that the gifts were reminiscent of my own Confirmation. I felt St. Rose of Lima and the Holy Spirit selected those gifts to touch my soul. One student presented me with a dozen roses. They aren't in season. It could have been any flower. No, the Holy Spirit sent roses with him. Even more touching, was the student who made me a bracelet and bookmark herself. Not only were they beautiful but the beads were shaped like, you guessed it, rosebuds. Don't tell me God wasn't intimately present in the choice of flowers and gifts from my students. St. Rose of Lima, pray for me. 

Now, it's Monday. I am enjoying a relaxing day off. The weekend was physically draining, but spiritually uplifting. What more could I ask for?

 

The Little DRE That Could...

Dorrie sent me a sweet, loving reminder today to keep blogging.  This one's for you, babe! Dorrie is my soul mate (her hubby might disagree), my sister from another mister, and my best friend. I love her in a way I cannot articulate. We've known each other since freshman year of college and I could write a whole blog post about our friendship. Maybe I'll do that soon. She and I have very different jobs, but both ridiculously stressful and time consuming. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind for me and I'm still in the midst of it. I'm having a stressful day so maybe stopping for a few minutes in the midst of it is a good thing.


My doctor is getting on my case to work less than 10 hours/day and only 5 days/week. I would LOVE to do that. The problem? I don't know how to do that and get my job done. To do my job WELL would require 2 full-time catechetical people and 1 full-time administrative person. Instead, it's me and a part-time administrative person (who is amazing, but is human like me).

Sunday, I was at church 13 hours straight. I took a 15 minute lunch break. I did have an hour and a half down time starting around 3, but I was afraid if I went home, I would fall asleep and miss Mass and my evening meetings. I cat napped at my desk.

Monday, I got here at 8:30 and had to teach first thing. I was booked with teaching sessions and meetings through early afternoon. Around 2 I realized I was at my limit. I went home for 4 hours. I did laundry and took a nap. I came back to work for my evening meetings and was at church until 9.

Tuesday, I started my day at the grocery store since I had nothing to each for lunches this week. I got to work around 9 and worked straight through to 9 pm. Several crises had occurred during class time so I tossed and turned all night.

Wednesday, I rolled in around 10, exhausted from the night before. I spent most of the day calling and emailing parents trying to get to the bottom of some issues. Fun. I left work at 6 (only because I "donated" my office to be used for youth minister interviews since every other meeting space on campus was booked), but then spent an hour and a half supply shopping before going home. I crashed at 9.

This morning, I was at the grocery store first thing getting snacks for a meeting I was hosting. I taught for half an hour while my assistant played hostess to local DREs. Our meeting was supposed to last 2 1/2 hours, but the quick "check-in" portion became a gripe fest. Twenty-five minutes before we were set to adjourn, I had yet to give my check-in and we had gotten to none of our business. Bless me, Father for I have sinned. I told a lie to the DREs. The room we were using was not booked for a 1 pm meeting, but I had to get them out of there. We had run 45 minutes long, I had yet to have lunch, and I was falling asleep as well as starving.

Tonight I plan to work late to get some projects done while I have access to my atria. There are still many Catechesis of the Good Shepherd materials to make and I need to work out some sort of system for covering our shelves when the students aren't present. Too many people are getting into our space and messing with our items. It's devastating.

This weekend is Confirmation so I'll be busy all weekend. I anticipate taking all/most of Monday off. It will be my first day off in 8 days. I haven't had two days off in a given week in over a month.

How do I function?I try to squeeze in some down time- 5 minutes of candy crush or an online episode of a favorite sitcom during dinner at my desk. During the week, our staff has lunch together from noon to one.

Friends? Family? HA. The stacks of invites to Beloved events, alumnae activities for my college, and other things go un-returned. I don't have close friends in my immediate vicinity, but I live in a very large metro area. I have tons of friends and the majority of my cousins only an hour or so away. One of my high school best friends moved to a local suburb a few weeks ago and I have yet to see her. By the time I get off work, I am too tired to make plans to see anyone. I saw people this summer. I hope they're all still alive in June.

I long for having a life again. When I did similar work at a smaller parish, I had a life. I played euchre one night/week, socialized with friends on a regular basis and raised a family. My life has lost all balance. I have used the divorce as an excuse for being married to my job- no husband, no stepkid, no dog... guess I don't need a life. I want to date again. I have found card/board game groups here but none meet on nights that fit my schedule. I am too busy to organize my own. I am hoping our parish organizes a young adult group soon. It's something we've been working on. Sadly, that's my only hope for meeting people in this area. And I won't be a young adult that much longer. :D

I love what I do. I love who I do it with and who I do it for.  If not for that, I would have given up a long time ago. I need to bring balance back into my life. It won't be easy, but it's the only way I can make it uphill. And that is the story of the little DRE that could. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.